if your queer comedy repertoire includes associating penises with disgust: fact: your jokes shame women’s bodies.
also applies if yr feminist jokes include !penises are the enemy kill all penises! jokes
lmao i swear japan has the greatest game shows
WAS THAT PLUNGER WORTH IT
DID SHE DIE I DONT UNDERSTAND OH MY GOD
WHAT THE FUCK JAPAN
last line of each book in The Hunger Games trilogy
I suck at texting unless
- I am in a relationship with you
- You are my mom
- I need something
- Me and you are close as fuck
Sometimes even then
The strongest ‘pound for pound’ muscle is the uterus: it weighs around 2 pounds but during childbirth can exert a downward force of 400 Newtons, which is one hundred times as strong as gravity and equivalent to the power in a fully extended modern longbow.
I need masculism because I am afraid.
you should be
Shame on the people who say women are weak.
REASONS TO STAY ALIVE:
- Making campfires.
- Holding hands.
- Making stew on cold nights.
- Mountain climbing.
- First dates.
- Spending the day in bed.
- Buying wedding rings.
- Exploring a forest.
- Playing peekaboo with a baby.
- Serving God.
- Watching someone smile genuinely.
- Realising that someone loves you.
- Returning that love.
- The Smell of old books.
- Looking through black & white photos.
- Seeing breakthrough.
- Learning your ancestors’ names.
- Hot chocolate.
- The feeling of getting back up after falling down.
- First day of university.
- Last day of university.
- Acing a job interview.
- Screwing one up and realising it’s not the end of the world.
- Collecting shells.
- Answered prayer.
- Sun baking.
- Listening to someone’s heartbeat.
- Sound of waves crashing against shore.
- Rain hitting a tin roof.
- Heartbreak that turns into heart-healing.
- Your own house.
- Decorating that house.
- Ministry and blessing.
- Coming home to someone you love.
- Hearing the sound of their footsteps on the stairs.
- Playing in autumn leaves.
- Their colours.
- Fresh snow.
- Singing favourite songs off-key.
- The way fire burns into ash.
- Smell of a home cooked meal.
- Helping someone in need.
- Waking up with light spilling over the sheets.
- Breakfast in bed.
- Living long enough to watch wounds heal over.
- Change some more.
- More change.
- Flowers blooming.
- Good memories.
- Learning how to forget bad ones.
- Warm feet in a cold bed.
- Smiles that reach all the way to the eyes.
- Letting go of balloons.
- Floating in water on your back.
- First C on a test.
- First A.
- Favourite teacher.
- First poem.
- Last poem.
- Holidays with friends.
- Road trips.
- Changing the sheets.
- Making daisy chains.
- Smell of freshly-cut grass.
- Feeling good about yourself.
- Loving what’s in the mirror.
- Not being afraid anymore.
- No more heaviness.
- No more grief.
- Picking berries until your fingers are stained dark.
- Home made popcorn.
- Frost on windows.
- Counting the years you’ve lived.
- Another candle on the birthday cake.
- Another mark of victory.
- That bellyache laugh that hurts all over.
- Breath freezing in winter.
- Feeling that breath on your skin.
- Someone’s eyelashes blinking into your cheek.
- Sitting under willow trees.
- Apologies that get accepted.
- Understanding that comes from forgiveness.
- Less hurt.
- More good.
- … Everything.
Is it just me, or does the king kinda look like Walt Disney?